The Rented Mule Award - October 2, 2007
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by Woodsmeister
It's Tuesday, so that means it's time for the awarding of the Rented Mule, given for the most significant, infamous, or shameful on-the-field beating of the week. So many options, it's hard to know where to start.
Dishonorable Mention
- The United States Women's National Soccer Team - No Hope during the game, too much Hope afterwards. Hope Solo, that is, who inexplicably was left on the bench instead of in goal for the semifinal game against Brazil, who capitalized by beating the 36-year-old backup goalie Briana Scurry for 4 goals in thrashing the US Women 4-nil. Hope did not take her benching well, pouting on the sidelines and calling out her coach afterwards. Yeah, Hope, your coach made a completely boneheaded, all-time-classic stupid coaching move, but professionals spout the right cliches to the press and then move on. Apparently, Hope has not seen Bull Durham.
- Florida Gators - Auburn beat the Gators last year for their only loss, and all Gators fans could talk about was how it was going to be different this year in the Swamp, as Auburn visited unranked. Here at The Mule, we appreciate it when one team owns another, and especially when Stupid Jedi Mind Games do not work. Seriously, the coach calling timeout from the sidelines a fraction of a second before the snap is just a cheap-ass rule that ought to be abolished in all sports. Florida gets a dishonorable mention this week for losing not just once, but twice this week to Auburn in the last seconds in their own house. Auburn 20 - Florida 17 in the Swamp. Chomp on that, Gators!
- Texas Longhorns - Colt McCoy, who would be a shoo-in for the Quarterback Whose Name Sounds Most Like a Porn Star Award, threw 4 interceptions, and Kansas State scored on an interception return, a punt return and a kickoff return, hitting the Special Teams Trifecta to hook the 'Horns 41-21 -- in the Horns own house! Somewhere, Bevo paces alone in sadness. Burnt Orange Nation sleeps uneasily knowing that they have a pissed-off Oklahoma next.
This Week's Rented Mule
The New York Mets - With a 2.5-game lead on Sunday, September 23 over the Phillies, and 7 games at home against teams with losing records, somehow the Amazin's managed to go 1-6 and blow not only the National League Eastern Division, but the Wild Card as well. The coup de grace was an 8-1 pummeling of future Hall of Famer and alleged big game pitcher Tom Glavine, who gave up 7 of those runs in the first inning against the last-place Florida Marlins in a game the Mets had to win. This epic collapse, during which the Mets managed to lose a 7-game lead as of September 12, more than justifies their selection as this week's Rented Mule Award winner.
