Oooooh Factor: New way to measure any player's value
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by user Manny Stiles
Want a new way to tell if a player your team traded for is any good, or see if you should be worried a team you're facing soon on the schedule?
Use the Manny Stiles brand "Oooooh Factor" (also designated as O!F); it's failproof and highly addictive!
The "Oooooh Factor" is easy to understand, simple to use and can be applied to ANY sport, player or team. All you need is any player's or team's name, a minimal amount of common sense, the ability to say Oooooh! (sounds like a Boo without the 'B') and shake your fingers in dramatically fake fear (like you're air-typing).
You say, "Oooooh!" then say the player's name in an exaggerated manner, then wave your fingers. If it just sounds 'silly' or 'funny' to 'hilarious' when you say that, the player doesn't have "O!F", they're not a true difference maker, nor should they be feared except with a heavy dosage of pure luck.
I designed this system when the Suns and Mavs were in the playoffs and someone told me that Jerry Stackhouse was a "difference maker" in the series. I said Oooooh!, Je-rry Sta-ckhouse" and waved my fingers as described above. After we all shared a good, extended laugh, the "Oooooh factor" was born. Let's face it, Stackhouse is a nice player, but are you scared of him... ever?
Let's try another one, a timely one for the Reds fans... "Ooooh! To-dd Hol-lands-worth (fingers waving)". See it works! And now Reds fans can rest easier knowing there's nothing to get excited about!
Ok, so we can easily tell who doesn't have "O!F". How can we tell who DOES have it? Even easier!
If someone DOES have O!F, you can't even get to the fingers part... ya just can't..."Oooooh! Michael Jord..." or "Oooooh! Albert Pu..." see?
Basically, you see a team or player's name on the schedule the Oooooh! stays the same, but the 'F' means something different, you've found the "Oooooh! Factor". Unless you're a total "upssy" and are afraid of everybody/thing, this system is guaranteed and endlessly entertaining!
Keep in mind, you can move on or off of the O!F list (see: Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, Floyd Landis)
So with that... "Oooooh! Devean George....." See, it works every time!
"Oooooh! Maurice Clarett"
Date
Wed 08/09/06, 11:01 am EST
