Neifi, Neifi, Neifi, what are we gonna do with you?
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by MegECass110
Detroit Tigers infielder Neifi Perez, already suspended for 25 games because he tested positive for a banned stimulant, has now been suspended for 80 games for his third positive test. Yes, you heard me right. THIRD.
Seriously, this guy must hate playing baseball. He has to. They say you learn from the mistakes you make? Not Neifi. Noooooooooooooooo. He just looooooooooves those performance enhancing drugs. Apparently he's taking the wrong ones, because a) he still sucks and b) he got caught.
Bud Selig must be thrilled right now. He's travelling the state of California chasing Barry chasing Aaron, and now he has this doofus to be the posterboy for MLB's drug testing policy. "Look! A guy is missing half the season because he tested positive! He's feeling the wrath of the testing policy! I rule my league with an iron fist! NEAGH!"
Too bad this guy blows. Good luck, Neifi. Enjoy being the punchline for endless performance-enhancing jokes for the next month or so. Until we all forget about you.

