NFC Norris: Sweet Home Chicago? Think again
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by user Neatesager
Time for the second in a three-part series of running down -- literally -- my Minnesota Vikings' competition, so-called, in the NFC North division.
Disclaimer: This is all for a giggle, you Chicago Bears fans with two William (Refrigerator) Perry-sized chips on your shoulders who can't acknowledge the elephant in the room -- which is the reality that everyone else has long forgotten that '85 Super Bowl team, which was an overrated one-year wonder. (The real wonder is that Mike Ditka didn't find a way to screw it up, like he did in subsequent seasons.)
The '85 Bears are about as pertinent to today as butter churners. It's far more relevant that Da Bears haven't won a home playoff game since after the 1990 season, which puts it smack dab in Bengals/Cardinals country.
Now, no one is pretending that the Bears are anything but the odds-on favourite to repeat as the division champion going into the season. The operative words are going into the season. Disaster lurks in the Windy City. Here on Aug., 1, the notion of the Bears finishing 8-8 or 7-9 seems preposterous.
In this division? you say. Get outta town. By the end of this, you will realize that 8-8 might be lucky for these Bears.(This guy even agrees, sort of. Of course, he also predicted a 9-7 record for Detroit, so consider the source.)
THE CHICAGO BEARS... the fightin' Bears. The Bears were one of the feel-good stories of NFL '05, earning the No. 2 seed in the NFC and reaching the playoffs for the first time in several seasons. All just so they could whipped in their own backyard in January. Hey, just like 2001 -- whereupon they stumbled right back into mediocrity. History repeats itself.
It happens in the NFL every year. A struggling team gets a new coach, Lovie Smith in the Bears' case, who gives the team some new energy and instills discipline. The players listen and buy in, since they realize they were failing before and are open to embracing change. Fortunes improve, and the team comes out of nowhere to grab a playoff spot.
Then there's the fallout. Egos start getting in the way -- disputes over playing time and what-not -- and on- and off-field distractions mount. The Cincinnati Bengals are the poster children for this phenomenon, what with various players' legal troubles this off-season, but the other 2005 division winner with the initials C.B. is merely flying under the radar screen. For now.
Cracks are appearing. Thousand-yard rusher Thomas Jones and Pro Bowl linebacker Lance Briggs got in hot water for skipping off-season workouts. The off-season has seen a couple player arrests -- newly signed cornerback Ricky Manning Jr. and tight end John Gilmore.
See? Fevered egos.
Where to start in chronicling all the various ways the Bears will tumble from their pedestal this season? Its defence allowed the fewest points in the regular season in '05, then got lit up like a Roman candle by Carolina's quarterback-wideout combo of Jake Delhomme and Steve Smith in the playoff game.
Not to read to much into it, but that game seems like it will be the departure point for Da Bears for years to come, with the image of Smith running free and easy across Soldier Field like Kip Keino on a training run through the Kenyan hills burned into Chicago's collective unconsciousness. It will cause self-doubt to start seeping through the ranks like leachate from the town dump.
Uh, in English, this means the Bears won't come anywhere near the league-low 202 points (12.6 per game) it allowed last season. Like Lance Briggs, that is a non-starter.
Now, Chicago's offence. It was largely terrible last season, but it has some strong points, beginning with a decent O-line anchored by the perennial Pro Bowler Olin Kreutz. Beyond that, it gets sketchy. Bringing in fading veteran receiver Mushin Muhummad seems like a sure-fire way to impede the development of younger wideouts such as Mark Bradley and Bernard Berrian.
Splitting carries between Jones and second-year tailback Cedric Benson -- who doesn't contribute anything in the passing game -- may divide the players. The running game was actually the strength of Chicago's offence last season. That's not saying much, since the passing game was second-last in the entire league. It's simply an anomaly, a freak occurrence, for a NFL team in this day and age to have sustained success averaging only 125 yards passing a game.
Sure, Chicago's passing game will get better. It would be impossible for it not to. However, the amount of hope Bears fans have invested in Rex Grossman -- who's so fragile he should play in Bubble Wrap -- borders on delusional. Bears fans seem to be denial about Grossman, if thisblogger is any proof:
"Against the Green Bay Packer’s second-rated overall passing defense the following week, Grossman went 11/23 for 166 yards, a touchdown and an interception.
Great stats? No. But very good for a man who hadn’t played in an NFL game in quite a while."
Damn. Hanging your hat on an 11-for-23 performance against Green Bay -- which was probably only second in pass defence since teams stopped throwing against them once they had built a 20-point lead -- smacks of being in denial.
Grossman isn't that good, and the other options are journeyman Brian Griese -- to know him is to realize he left his best days back in Ann Arbor -- and Kyle Orton, who does a lame Ben Roethlisberger impression without the playing ability.
So there you have it: The case against the Bears remaining at the top of the division. Please note it was done without going into how the team's fans are still obnoxious despite a playoff victory drought that's longer than that of the Arizona Cardinals, or how Brian Urlacher isn't a real linebacker since no real linebacker would even give Paris Hilton a second look.
Seriously, Dick Butkus or Mike Singletary would have given Paris "the Heisman" (that is, a figurative stiff arm to the face that says, "Stay away.") Those Chicago linebacking gods only had eyes for women whom, unlike Paris, could carry on a conversation, knew how to dress attractively but with a modicum of dignity, and could, if asked, gut a fresh-caught trout.
Which is a convoluted way of saying don't be fooled. Urlacher and his bunch of Bears are pretenders.
Previous victim: The Detroit Lions. Next victim: The Green Bay Packers.
Related: Blog Blast Past No. 2: Damn Vikings (July 17)
(For more articles like this one, visit Out of Left Field, especially if you're Canadian.)
Date
Wed 08/02/06, 9:37 am EST
