Glorious weekend, Ohio sports fans
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by Suckatsports
Well, the Northeast Ohio fans have not seen a weekend like this, since, well, no one even remembers. That's how bad it's been for the sports faithful that cheer for the Cleveland Indians, Cavaliers, Browns, and Ohio State Buckeyes. Although, the Buckeyes are the only team out of the set that actually ends up winning at times.
If you saw many happy faces where there's usually tears out of the dog masks, now you know why. All the pro (and almost pro - I'm looking at you, college football) teams in the state won. This is of course discounting the Bengals, who should not be confused with a real team.
Let's forget that the weekend starts on Friday night, because that's going out night, and nothing good ever happens then. Hoorah, nothing bad happened.
Here is your roller coaster of emotion, dear fan.
11:00 AM - Let's say you're tailgating for the Ohio State game, or trying to viciously sell your tickets for a fraction of the price you bought it for. It's a beautiful day, sunny, the only problem is that worthless Kent State is coming to town. No one, not even those clamoring for a Big East type schedule wants to continue watching these demolitions of teams that should be in high school. And especially no one wants to spend $60 to watch a game that will be over by halftime.
1:00 PM - And it was. Regardless, you dear fan, are happy that your team won, and there's still epic encounters in the college football world later in the day. As a fan of such, you will be watching, and eagerly hoping that the teams ahead (LSU, Cal) will choke on their on hairballs and lose.
4:00 PM - Kentucky has made a game of it, when LSU is hoping to run away and hide in their cage with the win. The cheers for the bluegrass state, around the Buckeye state are increasing.
7:15 PM - After three overtimes, and a 24 pack of Molson, the Wildcats pulled of an upset. I dare not use the word epic, because both teams are in the SEC, the king of all conferences. As such, they are all superior teams to any team in any other conference at any other time in the history of college football - except for the SEC itself. Woodson looks great, and another beer goes down with fervor as the #2 ranking is in our grasp.
7:16 PM - Oh shit. The Indians game is on. But, thanks FOX for the pre game show, the 7 o'clock promised first pitch is actually at some idiotic time like 7:17. But then again, thank you for waiting until the LSU game ends. You sirs, are on top of things.
9:50 PM - Oh happy days! Curiously misspelled and never corrected Jhonny gives Kurt the old heave ho as he knocks his pitch off the ladders in deep center. Are they still building this crappy field?
10:40 PM - Fuck. Game over. The empty and filled bottles of Molson and whatever's left (Milwaukee's Best) are being thrown on the lawn. Ramirez and Lowell go back to back for a 6-5 lead, and how small is this sandlot ballpark? They can bunt the ball out.
11:45 PM - Holy shit. Cal decided to shit the bed and have us waltz into first place in college football. Thank you kind sirs, it's much appreciated, and your fruit baskets are on their way.
1:40 AM - Oh happy days! Indians use Gagne as a punching bag to have a historic 7-run 11th inning, and a ball was hit about 500 feet, only the Volvo signed stopped it. That's safety. After rereading everything and listening to the calls, go to bed, Browns are on!
P.S. If you really do want to see a rollercoaster of emotion, the Indians live-blog is the place to go.
1:15 PM - Browns scored. Waiting for collapse.
2:00 PM - Browns scored. Waiting for collapse.
3:00 PM - Cleo Lemon and Ronnie Brown look like they just got free passes to the hall of fame - collapse beginning.
4:00 PM - Browns game over, and Derek Anderson was almost flawless (save for the 3rd quarter). A receiver out of Michigan (!!!) played well and made big catches. The Browns are on the way to the Superbowl after a 3-3 start. There's no need to save the rest of the beers for next weekend, it doesn't get any better.
This post is cross-published from We Suck at Sports.
