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Armchairgm's Athlete of the Year- 2007
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What a year it's been!!!! Another year down the drain, another year in the record books.
When I look back at 2007 I shake my head in disbelief at all the memorable events that have occured. Heck, it's the year I found this site and met the likes of DNL, Kelsdad, Pean, Kenrick, The Beast, Big Ben, Afraidof, Christoff, Romeizzo, Steel Town, Meg, Onefly, Rob, Jewboy... that's all the really matters.... anyway, it's been a hell of a year.
2007 in sports WILL be the year of the scandal. Baseball, basketball, and football all saw scandals that enveloped the sport even in times of relative prosperity, labor happiness, and record-breaking performances.
And, yet, 2007 was also the year of status quo in sports. Baseball and basketball saw the Red Sox and Spurs, respectively, capture their second title in several years. In football, the bullshit you suck ass Pats continue their dynasty by cheating, after the Colts finally made it to the Super Bowl and dominated the Bears who now suck ass and are a complete bullshit team. The Houston Dynamo won their second consecutive MLS Cup in soccer that we don't really care about. Manchester United returned to the Premiership throne. AC Milan and Liverpool returned to the Champions League final, albeit with Milan winning this time. While the Anaheim Ducks were a new visitor to the Stanley Cup Finals, Chris Pronger and Scott Niedermayer were the familiar faces that led them there.
As with every year, new stars ascended to greatness. Rookies like Dustin Pedroia, Troy Tulowitzki, Niklas Backstrom, Evengi Malkin, Brandon Roy, and Adrian Peterson became huge parts of their team's success. Meanwhile, excellent players became stars and heroes. Jimmy Rollins won the NL MVP. Sidney Crosby won virtually a clean sweep of the NHL awards. Kaka led his team to the Champions League title and FIFA Player of the Year honors.
2007 even saw the arrival of under-the-radar sports, as NWWL took over the pay-per-view world as millions upon millions wanted to watch beautiful women wrestle each other naked. Awesome.
For all those sports, the one that may have had the most traumatic year was pro wrestling. Its "highlight" was the shocking murder-suicide involving Chris Benoit and his wife and son. Outside of that, nearly every major superstar got hurt. John Cena. Edge. Undertaker. HHH...... actually let's just stop here- who cares about wrestling... unless it's naked chicks who are doing the wrestling.... it's the WWF- F- not E- fackin F- GOT IT!!!
But with all of this one athlete has risen above all the others. Who could it be. Who deserves this honor. Who is the 2007 Athlete of the Year???
Double LL, Double KK-- that's right- Allison Stokke.
I called and called and called and called but unfortunately it seems that Allison didn't get me messages and no interview took place. I even sent pictures of myself hoping that she would feel comfortable talking with me. I even went onto her unofficial fan website only to find this
Sorry for having contributed to the unwanted attention, Allison. We think you're a phenomenal athlete and wish you the best of luck in your academic and athletic endeavors.
So little is known of double LL, double KK-- besides she is a pole vaulter, she's an Aries, and she lost her virginity to The Beast-- yeah man!!! way to go!!! you fackin stud you- did you give her the motor boat? Damn you a freakin rock star!!!
Anyway, congrats to Allison- Armchair's 2007 Athlete of the Year!!! (you deserve more than Tom Brady and his goat)
God Bless
A Jam-Jam Productions
