About the Author
The Can of Worms and of course,
The Cookie Jar
[edit] Tibetan Book of the Dead (manual based on) by Timothy Leary
[edit] Instructions For Vision 7: "The Magic Theatre"
O nobly born, listen well:
You are now in the magic theatre of heroes and demons.
Mythical superhuman figures.
Demons, godesses, celestial warriors, giants,
Angels, Bodhsattvas, dwarfs. crusaders,
Elves, devils, saints and socerers,
Internal spirits, goblins, knights and emporers
The Lotus Lord of Dance
The Wise Old Man. The Divine Child.
The Trickster, The Shapeshifter.
The tamer of monsyers and trolls.
The mother of gods, the witch.
The moon king. The wanderer.
The whole divine theatre of figures representing the highest reaches of human knowledge.
Be not afraid of them.
They are within you.
Your own creative intellect is the master magician of them all.
Recognize the figures as aspects of your self.
The whole fantastic comedy takes place within you.
Do not become attached to the figures.
Remember the teachings.
You may still attain liberation.
Contact me - mannystiles@aol.com
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All the Things I was Wrong About in 2007 (Sports Edition) by Manny Stiles
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It's an annual tradition.
They say it takes having a penis to be a man. And sometimes a man can be a penis. It takes an a-hole to admit and reiterate how right he was over and over. But I was wrong last year when I said it takes a real man to admit he was wrong. Theoretically, women can admit they were wrong too, it just will never happen in my lifetime. So I'll say it takes an iron set of balls to admit you were wrong (there's a lot of AGM women with bigger balls than some of the cowards that visit this site). However, as often as I wrong as I was in 2007, I wonder if my vascectomy really took or not!
Again, this is just the sports edition as no human could catalogue all the non-sports things I was wrong about... or at least not in time to post it before 2009!
And it's easier to do it this way, because I was VERY right about a lot of things!!!
Tampa Bay Rays
2007 was certainly one of the most interesting years of sport for me personally. Getting invited into the Rays family was sheer joy. Getting to peruse the inner mechanisms of a professional baseball team was enlighteneing and educational, but more importantly it was FUN!!!
And boy was I really, really wrong about the Rays in a couple areas.
First off, they didn't win the World Series - though technically, I only said they "could"
Delmon Young didn't win Rookie of the Year but he did get the most votes on his team.
And I'm not the only one who was wrong about Carlos Pena (cough, cough Yankees and Red Sox).
Nor am I the only person who said the Rays would surpass 70 wins.
And when I said they weren't the worst team in baseball - if you disregard things like wins and losses - I was right!!!
Oh well, there's always next year!@!@! That's when YOU all we be wrong about them, too!!! Because they WILL be much better (you have been warned)
Phoenix Suns
I don't want to get sick rehashing it (vurp), but I predicted they would be champs.
I still don't see how Dirk beat out Shaved Nest for MVP.
But I was DEAD RIGHT about Amare when everyone was doubting him! (hey, I can brag a little)
MLB Predictions
At least mine weren't as bad as some of yours!
The NFL
Another yearly tradition - I was wrong about no one dying on the field of play. I do say it every year, and eventually I will be right (even though it will probably be a referee having a heart attack). I don't make this prediction every year because I want to see dead people and I certainly don't want to wish serious injury on anyone, but football is a violent game. The human body isn't meant to withstand collisions that occur in football.
Kudos to Kevin Everett for proving a lot of people wrong, too.
Arizona Cardinals
I saw no way they would reach .500 - In fact I said they would finish 2-11 because they sucked so much they wouldn't play 16 games! Monumnetal achievement for sure
Chicago Cubs
I nearly made a bet that the Tampa Bay Rays would finish the season with a better record than the Cubs. Good thing I gave up gambling - WEIRD things happen when I gamble.
New England Patriots
I thought if I rooted for them, they'd lose - I was wrong.
I guess it only works if I REALLY root for them... well, the playoffs ARE coming!!! I've always liked Randy Moss and Tom Brady has proven to me that deep down inside he just likes playing football... I really am getting convinced.
I thought more people would joined in
I really thought this was a good idea and honestly, it was just a test for my plans to sell myself on ebay. But I am a little saddened that more people didn't step up - Kelsdad was truly the All-Star on that event!
GOD, am I lazy or what?
I was supposed to turn pro - well, at least I acted like a professional on occasion!!!
I was also wong about thinking I could get NASCAR credentials with less than a week's notice... duh. WOW, did I ever underestimate NASCAR.
And with the interest waning, the Sports Zodiac showdown just fizzled to a thud. Once people realized this really is the Age of Aquarius, there was little interest in second place... Damned Leos.
Of course, the promos for this cinematic masterpiece were all lies - "sometime in 2007", my ass!
The City of Boston
Everything I said about Boston is 100% true, but me wishing the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics would all lose horribly was wrong.
Who am I to lean on the universe to to my bidding?
It's good for sports when there are teams with easy-to-hate fanbases. Plus, in a few decades when the cycle of sports turns again and all the Boston teams suck (again) it will be a lot of fun rubbing it in!!!
Payback is a bitch, bitches!!!
And don't think the fact that you FORCED me to root for the Yankees, Giants and Pistons (3 teams I would have rathered slammed my nuts in a car door than rooted for) will be forgotten anytime soon!!!
I thought making history would have been a bigger deal
Hosting the world's first running blog from a MLB pressbox was apparently a bigger deal to me and the people in the pressbox than it was to the rest of the world!
Something I was wrong about that REALLY hurt!
I thought I could beat Alex in chess...
Not so much. Sure, I was rusty but I hadn't lost a chess match since I was a pre-teen. My ass still hurts from his kicking. And I still owe him an article about cricket - and he will get it -when I can sit down again without pain!
I thought more people would enjoy these
I guess I am the Rob Deer of comedy on the 'Chair. When I do hit 'em they go far (and often foul)!!!
I guess no one remembers Ambrose Bierce? I consider that one of my 3 best sports articles to date.
I thought this was my best creation of the year... the members at sonsofsamhorn.com didn't think so...
A bit "out there" but who doesn't love violence?
Thanks to Chuck Muncie for voting 7 times...
Who doesn't love cute and fuzzy pets? This was an attempt to distract all from the Invasion of JTJ - look how that turned out...
WOW, this was a REALLY stupid idea - maybe the worst idea I ever had... and there has been some bad ones
I thought this was the only funny Tampa Bay Rays joke of 2007 - what do I know?
Armchair Prediction League
It was a good idea until I realized it meant giving a consistent effort with very little monetary or personal gain.
Intentions, intentions!!! I would be King if it was just about intentions!!
Retirements
For the record. I have only "retired" from AGM once - Oct 19, 2006. And yes, it only lasted a week. Blame Christof and D21Dub, not me!
But I did retire from the brokerage industry with wild success! Still a stay-at-home Dad and to be honest I think it was the best decision I ever made in my life.
I have never been so happy!
But I was wrong when I thought being Mr. SportsMom would be "easy". Kids wear you OUT!!! I think I'm going to have to get a job in 2008 and get away from these freeking kids!!! I love them dearly, and we do have a ton of fun but I need to relate to adults again before I go ENTIRELY crazy!!!
I was also wrong when I said staying at home would give me more time to edit - WAY WRONG! I actually was on the 'chair more when I was working - far away from those noggin.com loving twerps! Precious twers that they are...
A Big, Fat Apology
To all the trolls. I thought you were worth my trouble. I thought I was doing something good for the community by battling you. I figured someone should stand up to you and desist your nonsense.
I figured that in order for the 'Chair to continue with integrity and and honor a certain level of respect needed to be established.
Well, I was wrong. Trolls are people who live by destruction. They are punk losers who hide behind a veil of bullshit in order to spread vicious destruction, but for what? They are teeming with energy and obviously and obsession with our fine site. And I figured I could make them contribute.
That's all I ever wanted - for people to contribute.
And I was wrong. I keep forgetting that people aren't like me (I guess that's a good thing) People aren't capable of honesty or truthfulness on the internet.
I was wrong when I thought people could be themselves and not have to hide behind a wall of lies. Why does anyone need to LIE about themselves in order to talk about sports?
Then I remembered - sports fans are bullshitters.
So whatever - bullshit your pants off, trolls. See if I care ever again... I was not trying to dictate behavior on this site, nor was I attempting to make a statement by walking out until things changed - I just do what I feel is right.
And when you get plagiarized, then tell me how funny it is. It's intellectual rape and it SUCKS.
Hey, I'm not Mother Theresa, I'm just Erik Kombol, the guy with many different styles. Being an honest, open, nice guy with a ton of creativity wishing people would have fun and build rather than destroy isn't enough. Intentions are just that - intentions.
After all - If intentions were enough, I would have written a dozen books, recorded 50 songs and sold two dozen screenplays this year.
If you can't be good, at least be safe!
Feel Free to add whatever I forgot
That's what the comments are for!
Happy 2008 y'all
I can't wait to be wrong about a bunch of new stuff!!!
If you thought 2007 with Manny Stiles was something; oh boy, just wait until you see what stilish madness I am planning for 2008!!!
Mwuh-haha-HA HA HA!!!!
Mahalo! Peace and good tidings --E--
