About the Author
The Can of Worms
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson (1939 - 2005)
Contact me - mannystiles@aol.com
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20080625 Manny Stiles' Sportsune Cookie
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Intro:
Welcome to Manny Stiles ' Daily Weekday Column:
"Sportsune Cookie" – For the most part, a thin sugary shell with nothing but words in the middle.
Sportsune Cookie
Most people would rather be destroyed by praise then saved by criticism
The Shaq rap fiasco - Let me get my "joke" out of the way first, then on to the "serious" angle:
What did Shaq say that isn't true? Ok, ok... thank you, thank you... I'm here all week.
Maricopa County's sheriff, Joe Arpaio is a media whore. It's really THAT plain and simple. Shaq's rap was done for entertainment and fun. If Arpaio was SO SERIOUS about this matter, wouldn't he have bothered to listen to ANY of Shaq's rap albums BEFORE giving him a badge???
If Arpaio had a shred of integrity about being so "steadfast against racial issues" then why does he use "Help Capture illegal Immigrants" as his primary recruitment slogan? Why can't it be "Help Capture ALL Criminals"??? Hypocrite, media whore and general Blow Hard. And every opportunity he gets to regurgitate his "America's Toughest Sheriff" bullshit, he'll take it.
He brags about his "successful" Tent City but never says a word about the extremely decrepit and overcrowded prison system in the city and county.
He claims that making prisoners wear pink underwear keeps crime down, yet it does NOTHING to lessen the rampant graffiti and vandalism that is swallowing the city.
He brags about enforcing the toughest DUI laws in the nation but never mentions how his public marketing program and endless commercials are draining the budget and depleting his manpower.
He says he's tough on criminals, yet we have more known, documented gangs in the valley, more cases of serial killers and more rapes per capita than ever before.
But leave the local TV channels on for an hour and you'll see his face and hear his jowels flapping about what he's done.
I live in Phoenix. I see what's happening ALL around me. And I can only think, there's ONE person on whom to place the blame.
And it isn't Shaquille O'Neal holding a microphone.
Pre-emptive Maneuvers
Sometimes, I like to half-ass things - Pay me and you'll get your Sportsune Cookie fresh and new EVERY morning... but until then - deal with it!!!
From a guy who feels he might be looking for a new team to root for - Boris Diaw and Leandro Barbosa, it was nice knowing ya. See ya around. I think it's pretty much a given one or more likely BOTH of you will be dealt really, really soon. The Suns' cheap assed, yet veteran loving owner may have finally realized that he's going to need to get some youth into town soon - MAYBE this year, he won't deal away a first round pick for an empty can of canned air; but they'll most likely move their young, semi-proven talent to move up in the draft... I still wear my favorite Suns hat (because it fits REALLY well) but I keep eyeing what they're doing in Portland and getting jealous... my Suns used to have a promising outlook like that...
The TWO things keeping me loyal - STAT - even though they've tried to deal him before and there's no guarantee they won't;
and...
New assistant coach Dan Majerle - whom I will miss dearly on game broadcasts and at his restaurants during road trips, but am envisioning him as the next head coach once Terry Porter disproves that theory that claims he's a better coach than his track record says.
Fort Night - I still haven't watched a single serve at Wimbledon yet, but I am planning to when it gets warmed up... Nothing personal, but anything that takes two weeks isn't going to captivate me the whole time. Then again, anything that takes two hours is gonna see my attention wane, maunder, meander and saunter about frequently.
Well, at least we have this going for us - Good News!!! Tomorrow all the conjecture ends! No more guessing who will go where. The draft will take place. Then we can all move on to making illogical presumptions and projections.
Oh yeah, then we can start locking in next year's lottery picks!!! Woo! 366 more days (give or take) until NEXT year's draft!!!
If Guys don't quit their bitchin' - I know that Chad Johnson is just trying to get what he thinks he's worth, but eventually one has to wonder if it's time to make the move to pay for play instead of up front money. The severe majority of the world gets paid after they do their work - maybe it's time to do the same with athletes?
Performance based pay would certainly keep the squabble to a mum. Then again, guaranteed contracts in the NFL would certainly solve some issues as well...
At least 15 - 20 years ago and further back, when players had issues they told their bosses, not the media. And yes, I partly blame the media for listening to these "issues" and overblowing the money squabbles. I know it's more money than ever - but EVERYONE thinks they should get paid more while the media is the only ones making their money off that simple notion.
Terry Bradshaw - speaking of blowhards...
WOW! I'M SO STUNNED!!! A PITTSBURGH STEELER TOOK STEROIDS! OH, THE HUMANITY!
Ok, now that "Sarcasm Moment with Manny Stiles" is over...
Terry... if you get one gram of credit for "coming clean" you should get kicked in the nuts. It's been 25 years after you played. It's nice that you said what we all assumed but don't try to make yourself a hero in this... if you do, may Mike Webster's ghost haunt you (more so).
Namedropper
My friend's old landlord "Dan" - who I worked with one summer - is a very large man (6'7" and well over 450 lbs) due to legitimate glandular issues. He had worked at Disneyland when he was younger as a parking lot tram operator. He is a big sports fan that has many wonderful name-dropping stories to tell. Some are good (O.J. Simpson), some are useless (his college roommate was NFL flop Timm Rosenbach - why is HIS name never brought up with Ryan Leaf's?) and some are only pertinent today because of recent news (or the previous paragraph).
Well one time, circa 1985 he was tramming people around the parking lot when a belligerent and seemingly drunk and rammy Terry Bradshaw boarded for a ride. But Mr. Bradshaw wouldn't sit down as the rules stated he was supposed to and demanded that he would stand. Dan told him that he could possibly suffer injury if he were to not abide by the rules. By this point, several passengers had also begun to plead with the football player to abide by the safety rules.
Bradshaw responded with the classic "Don't you know who I am, Fatty?".
Dan, being a sports fan did know who he was but also being a sizable prick when taunted about his glandular issues stated blankly that he didn't know the man from Adam. He then proceeded onward to pick up more passengers. When he arrived at the next stop location, Dan "touched" the brakes a little harder than usual and the passengers lurched forward... all except one, that is.
Mr. Bradshaw fell flat in the aisle and began to get red with anger. But the passengers aboard - who had witnessed the shameful exchange - began to laugh at him. Bradshaw was cussing and embarrassed as he de-boarded the tram and began to walk the rest of the way to the park.
Still left to wonder - why was he alone and drunk at Disneyland?
Kids make the BEST sports fans
We went to Red Lobster for dinner last night. We stopped to look at the tanks as we have aquariums at home with crayfish in them. Plus both kids are enamored with lifeforms of all shapes and variety. Pookie explained to one of the employees that their “lobsters are bigger than Carl Crawfish”. The employee was bewildered and looked at me. I said… “Yep, they are…” Then as the Diamondbacks and Red Sox game was playing on the TV (as I explained why we were hoping for a Red Sox loss to help the Rays). She “got it” and belted out a “Let’s Go Snakes!!” at the exact moment the same employee came by the table.
I said “Yup. Let’s Go Snakes.” (guess you had to be there…)
The boy is taking the “tough” talk too far… while playing with his sister’s Tinkerbell figurine, he had Tinkerbell flying through the air with “jet” sounds (whoosh) and attack my leg while stating “This fairy is tough, Dadt”.
My Son + Fairy = “tough”. Yet, I’m not worried… I know he’s all boy. The fairy was flying with jet sounds…
Media Rant
Every city has it's horrible, annoying, hackneyed, distributors of sports rubbish. Since we don't live in YOUR city... and we have our own crap to wallow in... PLEASE - keep it to yourself.
Better yet, expand your horizons and MOVE ON... if you have any clue about sports, you'll realize they aren't talking to you!
Ever wonder?
Pair of underwear. Pair of shorts. Pair of pants.
If you have two of any of them, is it a pair of pairs?
Is half a pair of pants just one leg? Or are they a pair shorts?
Apparently if your legs go into them, it makes them a "pair". That's why women don't wear a "pair of dresses" or a "pair of skirts".
Yet, what about thongs?? Still a mystery....
WTMF Sports
Channel Manny Presents:
W.T.M.F. Sports with your host, Manny Stiles!
Brought to you by Smoke's Championship Waxing Toaster Ovens
"Whether you have a three, five or seven game series you're gonna get toasted and waxed in, why not get Smoke'd too?"
Reporting on Wednesday, June 25th... Manny Stiles:
MS - Try it if you don't believe me... you can't put a pen knife all the way into you ear canal... but first, our top story"
If you're gonna write an article that you KNOW I'm going to read, don't make me angry by dedicating your point to making cracks at the "Devil Rays". Besides, it's not as if the topic can't be run into the ground... VERY easily.
The Adventures of ManRays
Today's "Ray of the Day" is...
Winning Ugly
Hey, a W is a W.
Honorable mention - Evan Longoria
Dirtbag's 2 run double secured the lead in the top of the ninth.
An ugly game, a nervous ending and slop all around. But when you look back on the Rays' last 4 games, they're 2-2 where they would have EASILY been 0-4 in any year previous. There's something special going on, I know it!
And to all you Red Sox fans.... Why CAN'T your team seem to get ANY separation??? It's almost JULY, after all....
Today: Game 2 of 3 at the home of the Stinky Fish...
Go Rays!
10
1 – Kevin Stocker
2 - Patrick Elias
3 - Brian Dawkins
4 - Todd Zeile
5 - Todd Helton
6 - Michael Redd
7 - Jonathan Cheechoo
8 - Jason Giambi
9 - Isaac Bruce
10 – Carlos Boozer
A Picture is worth 1000 Championships in a defunct league
Long before there was a "Curse of Billy Penn", there was the Philadelphia Stars... USFL Champs.
Maybe the Philly curse comes from the demolition of their crumbling home, JFK Stadium? Or from their move to Baltimore? Or the collapse of the league? instead of a statue that was placed on it's home facing the wrong direction long before there was an NFL, NBA or NHL???
Kelvin Bryant was the man!
Dr. Commento Answers the Questions
ATQ – Yesterday's (and Monday’s) 10 was athletes (and journalists) that wear earrings.
Another gem from LASB – "OJ Mayo, the next Steve Francis"
THAT is it!!! I was thinking of all the guys to compare him with... Hyped up Let Down... Drafted high but not NBA sized to have the same effectiveness they did in the lower ranks. Career-wise, I think Stevie might even have a better career than OJ Mayo. Maybe another middle school phenom/one year college star Felipe Lopez is a good comparison... But definitely a guy that will hope to approach Steve Francis!
And I really do think Eric Gordon will be the steal of the draft at his slot.
I know I'm not the only one that's not impressed with this draft...
Strike a Prose
Cling, Clang, Clung
I kinda get "it" now
how when I was young
I knew it all
I believed power
was in holding what you had at your disposal
tightly
Cling
I think I get "it" now
the tales of elders
how they did it all
I believed lessons
were words instead of the meanings
dumbly
Clang
I have to have "it" now
even though "it" isn't even there
"it" is just a part of "it" all
I believed freedom
was something to be held on to, when "it" is really
letting go
Clung
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20080701 Sportsune Cookie
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The kids like Red Lobster - and McDonald's. Usually we make our steaks and seafood at home, but it's been so damned hot, we didn't care to cook yesterday.
I always though Tinkerball was in the upper crust of hot cartoon babes (Disney's Peter Pan, not Hook)