And So It Begins...
| 14
|
by Jake of: http://afraidofedhochuli.blogspot.com/
Tonight, the 2007 NFL season kicks off with the New Orleans Saints versus the Indianapolis Colts. With it comes the return of John Madden and his godknowswhatheissaying linguistic salvo, Tony Kornheiser being Tony Kornheiser and of course, the man for who this blog is named after, Ed Hochuli.
But what also comes with the start of a new NFL season are the controversies, injuries, memorable quotes ("Crown their ass!") and Bengals arrests (though don't look past that babyface of David Carr - you know he has skeletons in his closet; or a gun-running trade). And the cream of the crop, the observations/predictions/bullhonkey droppings that "analysts" make to get a paycheck.
Well I tell you one thing, the following observations/predictions/bullhonkey droppings are mine and I guarantee you, I'm not being paid to say these things. Hell, Matt wouldn't even pay me in potato chips to do this, much less American currency.
So with that, here are some things I will be pondering about with each of the NFL teams in the 2007 campaign.
Arizona Cardinals: One has to wonder where the franchise might be if they named their stadium the Pink Taco Stadium.
Atlanta Falcons: How long before Bobby Petrino says, "I think I should have stayed at Louisville."
Baltimore Ravens: What is the play count of Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" on Kyle Boller's iPod?
Buffalo Bills: Call me a fool, but maybe Marshawn Lynch and Paul Posluszny could become Buffalo's Crockett & Tubbs.
Carolina Panthers: I heard David Carr gave Jake Delhomme a copy of Europe's "The Final Countdown."
Chicago Bears: So a Gator (Rex Grossman), two Hurricanes (Greg Olsen & Devin Hester), a Husky (Olin Kreutz) and a Lobo (Brian Urlacher) walk into a bar...
Cincinnati Bengals: Just a few more weeks Chris Henry. You keep that head up, baby!
Cleveland Browns: Now that Law & Order Brady Quinn has arrived, let's see the Dog Pound steal people's wheelchairs now.
Dallas Cowboys: With all his talk about quarterbacks, maybe Owens wants to change positions and become a quarterback. Oh wait, he has to graduate to team player first.
Denver Broncos: The Mile High Air + Travis Henry = the chase is on for Wilt Chamberlin's 10K record. 9,991 to go Travis!
Detroit Lions: If they have another stinker of a season and probably will, I nominate Bruce Campbell to be the new GM.
Green Bay Packers: Would he be fined if Aaron Rodgers wore a sign reading: "Will quarterback for food."?
Houston Texans: Honestly, this team could be a total suprise and make a playoff threat.
Indianapolis Colts: Perhaps Aaron should ask Jim Sorgi how it's been.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Florida has too many teams. I'd like to see these guys in Los Angeles so we can start calling him Hollywood Jack Del Rio. You know that has a ring to it.
Kansas City Chiefs: A retractable roof add-on might be the only way the city sees a Super Bowl. Sad, but true.
Miami Dolphins: The Curse of Ace Ventura lives on.
Minnesota Vikings: Here's hoping Steve Hutchinson will pick up the legacy that was Fred Smoot.
New England Patriots: Brady versus Manning is old news. The new hotness will be Brady versus whichever of his 400 receivers he didn't throw the ball to.
New Orleans Saints: Maybe this time Reggie Bush will reserve somesaulting into the endzone when they're actually winning.
New York Giants: Anything to shut Tiki Barber up. Please.
New York Jets: How long before Mangini versus Bellicheck is settled in a steel cage deathmatch?
Oakland Raiders: Maybe a uniform change might do them good.
Philadelphia Eagles: Cocky and fearless. Hm. Britt Reid might make a serviceable linebacker.
Pittsburgh Steelers: I am going on record and say that Santonio Holmes just sounds like a really cool boxer name.
San Diego Chargers: Here's wishing they avoid The Ghost Of Schottenheimer.
San Francisco 49ers: Seahawks versus 49ers is going to be a great rivalry for years to come.
Seattle Seahawks: What, no Holmgren Glower Grape Soda? You missed out on a golden egg, Jones Soda.
St. Louis Rams: They're screwed if Leonard Little is driving the team on the road.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: They have Mr. Indestructable Jeff Garcia. I wish them the best, except on Week 1.
Tennessee Titans: Kerry Collins believes in The Curse of Madden.
Washington Redskins: They will go as far as Daniel Snyder is there and it's not facing up.
Here's to a hopefully a promising season, not just with regards to the Seattle Seahawks, but for every team in the NFL.
