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An open letter to Chuck Klosterman

10
Vote

by user Barkingclam

Chuck,

I just read your essay on ESPN, and it’s one of the better things I’ve read in quite some time.

As I understand, the NFL is a big deal in the US, and that’s putting it lightly. Up here in Canada, it gets moderately better treatment than professional basketball; It’s on TV on a regular basis, but there’s only 2 or 3 games a week.

However, I disagree with it’s what people want; I don’t think that the average person knows quite what they’re watching. They may be able to rattle off the name and numbers for a famous running back, but they can’t name any of the big men up front who do the heavy lifting.

When people see something that is different from the norm on TV, I assume that they see it differently. For example, I just watched a fake trailer for a pseudo-movie called Hobo With A Shotgun (it’s on YouTube, if you want to watch it). Several people are shot and killed, often quite graphically.

And I laughed. I laughed at the absurdity of it, at it’s cheesy one-liners, at the almost cartoonish violence. I laughed, never once considering the consequences of any of the hobo’s actions.

However, it was just a fictional movie on the Internet. If I had personally witnessed any one (or a combination thereof) those events, I’d be horrified.

The same goes for football. If any of us could, as you put it, experience a rhino that can run like a deer and who may be drugged up beyond all comprehension first hand, they would be shocked. But they don’t, so they aren’t. To the average fan, the most players are just there – maybe they saw their names at the beginning of the game; maybe they read their bio in a game program and maybe they heard Mel Kiper talk about them on the radio. But at the end of it all, professional football players are just something they watch on TV.

But they can’t identify with them, not like they can with famous players. The only time they see them in on Sundays, on their TV.

Unlike Barry Bonds, or even Ben Johnson (who, despite a recent ad campaign where he pitched Cheetah Energy Drinks, saying “I cheetah every day’, is still persona non grata to most Canadians) people don’t identify with them; they don’t live vicariously through their success. Nobody cheered when Todd Saurbrun made a 50+ punt; he was just doing his job, nothing else. But people cheered when Nick Goings would make a 5, 10 yard run. He was a success, a famous player.

This is why I think that at some point the NFL will collapse if it stays on this route. Sooner or later, some famous player will either be busted publicly or will have a disastrous reaction to steroids (I don’t mean breaking out in a rash, I’m talking about a Clint Malarchuk situation on the field) and the NFL will be unable figure out why all of a sudden the fans are upset.

People identified with Mark McGuwire and they lived through his successes. This is why I feel that his steroid allegations have been so negative. But nobody cares when some third-rate bullpen arm tests positive. Nobody loves a punter they way they love a superstar. People will care when something happens to someone who isn’t just a blob on the screen.

And that day better come soon, for the good of the NFL and for the good of its players. I’m sure that you’ll agree that one Andre Waters story is enough.


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False ProphetAll-Star
612 days ago
Score 0+-
NFL players get more leeway because they aren't expected to be part of society. They have to be a superbreed of humans, and are expected to be able to handle all of the pain, along with give it back out. NFL players serve their suspension, then go back out. records are not quite as prestigous as they are in Baseball.

Let me explain. If you go out into a sports bar, and poll some random fan, and ask him "What is the all time Home Run record in MLB, and who holds it?", chances are they'll get at least the name, and probably close to the number (or guess Babe Ruth or Barry Bonds which is pretty close).

Now, if we were to ask the same fan "Who is the NFL's all time leading rusher/passer(recieving doesn't count, everyone knows Jerry Rice), and what is the record?" They might get one name, but chances are they won't get the number correct. The NFL is all about the championship.

No one cares if Bob Johnson holds some rushing record, but everyone cares about the heroics in the Super Bowl. They remember the Dynasties of the Dolphins, Packers, Steelers, 49ers, and cowboys. They rember Joe Namath's astounding super bowl victory over Johnny Unitas in 1969. They remember Tom Brady and That crazy coach who looks like a bumb who lead a group of rejects and journeymen to a victory over Kurt Warner's offense, and the "Greatest Show on Turf".

Cheating of some sort happens all the time in football. I'll bet anyone all of my money that in those dog piles on a fumbles, there is a lot of pinching and tickling and grabbing, trying to get the ball carrier to let go of the ball. Lineman put Cooking spray on their Uniforms to make them harder to hold. Rodney Harrison will make rediculous hits that are not only unecessary, but endanger the oppenents life.

The reason the NFL has survived the "Steriods Era" so far isn't because it isn't a problem, its just that the players who used it have stopped, and no one really cares because we all know it.
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False ProphetAll-Star
612 days ago
Score 0+-
I meant THAT coach who looks like a bumb
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BarkingclamVarsity
612 days ago
Score 0+-
I think that the reason they're surviving, and I just literally thought of this 10 minutes ago (although I was trying to say it, but not that clearly) is that nobody is really gaining anything by cheating.

If Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire both used steriods, they were rewarded. Bonds has hit over 700 home runs, and McGwire hit 70 home runs in one year.

However, what did Todd Saurbrun gain by cheating, at least to the casual fan?

I think that people are more likely to get mad if they see the athlete cheating and then getting results from that cheating. And this hasn't really happened in the NFL, or at least not yet.
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False ProphetAll-Star
612 days ago
Score 0+-
exactly. no one gives a damn because the player is caught, their career is over, and nothing really changed.
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BarkingclamVarsity
612 days ago
Score 0+-
I think though, it's safe to say that if a major player, such as Lladainian Tomlinson (not that he does, he's just an example), was caught juicing, the reaction would be almost the same as the reaction to Barry Bond's was. People would be outraged since somebody obviously gained, a lot, by cheating.
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False ProphetAll-Star
612 days ago
Score 0+-
it would, but the one's juicing are mainly the Defensive players. RB's have to have the speed in Highschool in order to get to the pros. It's hard for them to juice beause so much of their ability is determined by things other than speed. They need vision, Hands, and the ability to take a hit. Roids hurt RB's beause it end up making them a bit more injury prone, and they won't get the big payday
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
612 days ago
Score 0+-
Klosterman does what he does very well, write about popular culture and society. The best of a genre is dead, all we have is klosterman (the protege) and Tom Wolfe, the Santana of the 60's styled writers (the guy who didn't die) What he doesn't do very well is solve society's ills. Entertaining read, though (it was in The Mag, too)
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Retrieved from "http://armchairgm.wikia.com/An_open_letter_to_Chuck_Klosterman"

This page was last modified 01:18, 20 March 2007. Content is available under the GFDL.

Categories: Opinions | NFL Opinions | Football Opinions | MLB Opinions | Baseball Opinions | March 19, 2007 | Opinions by User Barkingclam

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