A Great Scientist Moves On
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Noted baseball scientist John Frink has left the Oakland A's front office, according to ESPN.com's Insider. Frink was instrumental in developing Athletics GM Billy Beane's so-called "Moneyball" strategies, which allowed Oakland to be perennial contenders despite a shoestring budget, but he decided Wednesday that his time with the ballclub had come to an end.
"They don't need me anymore... glayvin," he told reporters. "And , frankly, I can't stand the thought of moving to Fremont anyway..." Frink shook his head. "...that hellhole."
When asked about his Sabermetric legacy, Frink was frank: "Well, we knew perfectly well it was addictive. Soon you had the J.P. Ricciardis, the Theo Epsteins... even some pencilneck named Paul DePo-something. Jesus, Mary, and Glayvin, even I could beat that guy up -- with the kicking, and the punching, and the Kung-Fu Fighting! We thought we were God, hoyven-mayven."
As Frink said this, Beane emerged from his office and began to berate the famous scientist. "Frink, you little weasel... I'll kill you!"
"I'm too old and too rich for this," were Frink's parting words to the reporters. "I'm going to work for the government anyway, on a top-secret weapon. It'll kill ya!" And, with that, John Frink's career with the Oakland Athletics was over.
Insiders say that Beane still fully plans to use sabermetric principles in his management of the A's, but he also noted that things just wouldn't be the same without Frink around. "He and I clashed at times, for sure. But I wouldn't trade our time together for anything. Wait, did I say 'wouldn't'? I meant 'couldn't'. In fact, I shopped our time together around, and several clubs were interested, but we couldn't get a deal done. I really wanted Gil Meche, but those damn Royals got to him first. Hmm, I hear Ron Villone's available, though... Hey, Frinky, come back!"
