"Lights Out!"

by user LastRow

Once again we have an athlete making news for enhancing his body and his ability to perform illegally. Just like in every other episode before this one, the dumbass athlete who thought he could get away with it in the first place, has a very good explanation for being caught...And so I bring you Shawn Merriman. My question to Shawn would be this…If you have nothing to hide like you say you don’t at the annual "I Didn’t Do It, I Swear" press conference, which is becoming more & more famous, why did you have to consult with your attorney & peeps before making a statement to the public? Besides, was that really necessary? I know you’re a rookie at holding "I’m Not Guilty" press conferences, but by now we’re all All-Pros at listening to them…It’s not like we didn’t know what you were going to say. However the thing is, you didn’t know until your peeps told you what to say. Had to confer with your publicist too, huh? Make sure she doesn’t insert her foot in her mouth?

I’m sure you never "knowingly took anything"…Just as I’m sure Kenny Rogers didn’t know he had that big clump of pine tar, I mean "dirt" on his hand in Game Two. (continued: http://www.lastrowsports.com/weekly-boob.asp)