"I Go Back NewportBeachistan
by Frank Coffey
"I Go Back NewportBeachistan!"
Nov 15, 2007
“I Go Back NewportBeachistan!” New York – BREAKING NEWS.
eTrueSports has just learned that super agent
Scott Boras is quitting the sports representation business and will return to his homeland of
NewportBeachistan. “Too many rules in
America, said Boras. “In my country, I lie, is okay, no problem. No one say nothing.”
Boras has been under siege since he publicly announced during the fourth and final game of the
World Series that his client
Alex Rodriguez would not be returning to the
New York Yankees. His statement immediately became front page news, upstaging baseball’s premier event, and provoked an outraged response in the sporting community. Many found that the timing of the announcement revealed Boras to be, in the words of one commentator, “a self-aggrandizing boor.” Few found a subsequent apology convincing. “I no lout or pig,” pleaded Boras in a telephone interview. “All big misunderstanding.”
To make matters worse Rodriguez is reported to be in direct contact with the Yankees about returning to the team, a huge public embarrassment for an agent whose ego has been described, charitably, as out sized. (Yankee officials have stated they will “not be in the same room” as Boras.) Boras, who in past times of conflict with his top client has been known to take up residence in Rodriguez’s home for days on end, is reportedly flying to Miami today in an attempt to meet with
Cynthia and Alex Rodriguez. On condition of anonymity, a friend of Rodriguez’s familiar with A-Rod’s thinking said, “To get through that door? There’s not enough sh*t on the planet for him to eat.”
