"Getcha Popcorn Ready"…T.O. is Going to Blow!
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by LastRow
"Dear Reporters,
Due to the magnitude of this week's game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 about the other 81. I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday's game.
"Sincerely,
Terrell Owens
p.s. Getcha Popcorn Ready."
And with that as if the "GAME OF THE CENTURY" needed more attention, well, it got Emeril Lagassed and kicked up a couple notches after T.O. went Chad Johnson on us! I wonder if he has a dynamite recipe for Orville Redenbacher’s kernels? Tabasco anyone? Yes indeed, what’s more enjoyable than watching the Cowboys and Pats going at it on Sunday? Perhaps, just perhaps the game(s) within the game. Tom Brady vs. Bobble Boy, (or is that Wrecks Grossman wannabe?) Or how about the two 81’s…You know, that "other 81" the Owens mentioned. It would just happen to be one Randy Moss… You know, the guy who's currently tied for the league lead in touchdown receptions and just happens to catch 81 percent of the passes thrown in his direction, unlike the "original" whose pass catching percentage is 45. Still, have to hand it to T.O., he’s so clever on word play! However, should come as no surprise since he does write children’s books!
Now surely Sunday will be very interesting considering the fact that Owens looked like he was on the verge of a Philly-style meltdown during the Monday night game in Buffalo. Dallas’s saving grace was Nick Folk, (not once, but twice)! We all saw it coming and knew it would if it wasn’t for the fact the Bills bombed out! Dallas might be the class of the Junior Varsity conference, but the Pats, Spyvideo or no Spyvideo, Peeping Tom or no Peeping Tom, well the Cowboys just don’t stack up! If Romo can be Wrecks against the Bills it’s hard to imagine him having a game that will go down in Cowboy’s lore of the good variety. It’s very possible Romo may struggle this Sunday and that doesn’t bode well when you have a ticking time bomb ready to go off at wide receiver.
Up until yesterday Owens had been lying in the weeds…Been such a good "Little T"! Of course he has, winning cures everything! It works miracles for teams! All problems seem to disappear, that’s until "L’s" begin to appear in the loss column! And last time I checked, Dallas has a big goose egg in that department. Clearly the Patriots are the better undefeated team…No question they’re better on both sides of the ball. So with that said why write a check that your quarterback (Bobble Boy) can’t cash for you! While Moss will be doing his best Emeril impression, slicing and dicing through the Cowboys secondary, T.O., like Moss, will get his fair share of attention too. Only difference is, Terrell will be making like a pile of sh@t with flies around it! Owens plan is for the Cowboys to win and for his 81 to shine brighter than Moss…Good plan in theory, just too bad it’s not going to happen, bud! Only thing that will happen is you blowing your stack at "your quarterback you love so much", any coaches that gets in your way, or any microphone or tape recorder you spit into! That will happen…Oh yes indeed! And when it does, his true colors will shine through once again like they always do!
No way in hell this guy has changed one bit! Sure, he might’ve stopped abusing pain killers, but it’s still the same old Terrell Owens! He’s not the guy who everybody says he has is, he has just changed for the time being…Once an asshole, prick, ****, always an asshole, prick, **** and coming Sunday when the Cowboys lose and the "other 81" out works the "original 81" everything will come to a head again! Nonetheless, come Sunday, the popcorn will be popped and we’ll be fully ready to "enjoy the show", (or is that enjoy the blow)? Just hope I don’t drop too many kernels! That just burns my ass!
